Ask any wedding couple what they most want as a wedding gift and you’ll get one answer: money. It’s rude? Not really. Asking for money is rude in this culture, but expecting to receive something as a wedding gift is not, according to Emily Post’s guide to wedding etiquette. As a guest, how do you know that giving the gift of money is really in the couple’s best interest? Here are a few reasons why the gift of money is the gold standard in wedding gifts.
Advantage:
1. They can’t return it. Rather, they can, but most likely they will not return it to you. Giving money as a gift is a sure way to know that your gift will delight the bridal couple.
2. It allows the couple to buy expensive items that they could not otherwise afford. They can pay off debt, pay off school loans, buy a house, or go on a honeymoon with the money you gave them. This is a very good feeling for a practical-minded gift giver.
3. It never goes out of style. You don’t have to worry about figuring out what the best gifts are, because you know your recipients will go ahead and do the research for you. It takes the effort out of giving gifts, but not the heart.
4. It can help a young couple get off to a good start together, and possibly stay that way. Many newlywed couples are starting out with no credit or savings. You can gift them money through CDs or bonuses and know they’ll have an emergency fund later when they need it.
Cons:
1. It is impersonal. Chances are the wedding couple won’t look at a dollar bill twenty years from now and think about the money you gave them on their wedding day. They may forget exactly where that money went, but giving them the means to have what they really want is something that can give you pleasure for a long time. When you see how happy they are in a new home you helped buy, you’ll feel warm and fuzzy inside.
If you think the couple will think that the money is an impersonal gift, don’t worry. This isn’t like Christmas, where gift cards can seem, to some, like a thoughtless gift. Money is something that the couple really needs and will be grateful to receive. Including a heartfelt letter along with the money will give them something tangible to treasure for years to come.
2. You have no control over how they spend it and you worry that they will spend it poorly. This is the only reason money might not be a good option. If the recipients are very young or have a poor history with money, it may be best to give them very practical or very sentimental household gifts. Once you give someone money, you have no control over how they use it, and it can be very difficult to watch your loved ones spend their entire mattress of money on a week-long honeymoon, or a flashy car, when you thought that would be good for them. for years as a safety net. If you have specific ideas about how the money should be used, you might consider giving them a CD or some bonuses, but it’s probably a good idea not to give money at all in this case. Money should never go to someone you love with strings attached. Let the couple make their own decisions and, yes, mistakes. It is part of life and marriage. If you don’t want him spending your hard-earned money in a way you don’t approve of, make sure he gets you a nice wedding ring quilt.
3. Sometimes it is difficult to choose the correct amount. If someone spends more than you on a cash gift, it will make your gift seem less valuable. Also, if you give too little, it may seem unexciting to your recipients. Give too much and they may feel uncomfortable with your hefty donation. Your decision should be based on what you know about the couple’s financial situation and perhaps the value of the gifts on their record.