Male Sexual Arousal: How Lap Dances and Strip Clubs Affect Male Sexual Desire, Arousal, and Behavior

A man has been lying to his wife. For months, he’s been secretly going out at night to exotic dance clubs, hobnobbing with strippers, and receiving lap dances (which he chooses to believe are “innocent” and “harmless”). He has been enjoying his own little secret world that gives him a sense of sensual arousal and illicit general bodily pleasure. He tells himself that he’s “not cheating”. Inevitably, however, after an indefinite time, his wife finds out what he’s been up to. To her surprise, dismay, and disappointment, his spouse is not as receptive and accepting of him. She is enraged, furious, hurt, devastated, and maybe even feeling and behaving out of control. She may risk losing everything: her marriage, her home, and his family.

At this point, a man often feels, “I have to find a way to change this. I’m attracted to my wife. I love her very much. She’s beautiful. She’s been good to me. She takes good care of our children. I don’t want a divorce. I want to find a wife.” way to make it up to her. I thought I was being really ‘cool’ by going to these clubs. Now I realize how immature I was.”

So, the question arises: Why have you been going to see strippers? Why are you paying for lap dances when you have a beautiful wife at home, whom you say you love?

The answer, if the man is honest, sometimes it is so. “I’m attracted to my wife, but she expects me to ‘perform’ for her or expects me to always initiate sex. She thinks I don’t want her because lately I haven’t been that interested in being intimate with her. The truth is, sometimes I have her fear. She expects me to always be ready and satisfy her. Lately, she gets angry if I don’t live up to her expectations, especially since she knows I’ve received gratification from some of these other women.”

So what is it about strip clubs, strippers, and lap dances that makes some men eagerly come back for more while neglecting their available wife whom they claim to love?

A typical male response might be: “At dance clubs, I get to relax, be myself, have a few drinks, listen to music, and watch some slow-moving beautiful bodies seduce me into a state of arousal. I could treat myself to one of these.” beautiful young ladies at my table. She might smile at me, perhaps touching my arm, or whisper something seductive in my ear. She might call me honey or baby, and offer to make me feel good if I want to dance with her.”

At home, when it comes to sexual desire, some men will say, “I often feel like a scared child about to be scolded by his angry mother.” They could share that at the club they have sometimes heard other men say, “I have to go home and do my old lady,” as if it were a chore or drudgery to get over, rather than the pleasurable experience that can be. true privacy. .

What do strippers and exotic dancers do that men crave but don’t get at home?

First, man is fully receiving. He has nothing to do but be there. The woman does all the flirting and seduction. She moves her body seductively. It is possible that she gradually removes some of her clothing. She can arch her back and stick her bottom out, “an accepting position” known to trigger sexual arousal in male mammals. Some strippers won’t touch guys at all, but will come very close to touching men’s faces with their breasts, crotch, butt, etc. However, most strippers touch and allow touching, even if they aren’t technically supposed to. It’s about what will make them the most money. Then there are the special “champagne rooms”. For a very high hourly rate, a man can spend some time in a very private room with the woman of his choice. Here, she is able to offer additional sexual favors that she claims she only provides to “special” clients.

Second, the exotic dancer’s goal is to stimulate the man, to tease him, to act like he is a master at arousing her, and to continually promise her ever-increasing pleasure. She doesn’t make demands, she seems to have no expectations of him and doesn’t give him arguments. But there’s also no real back-and-forth communication (except allowing him to express her unhappiness and frustrations with her life, her marriage, or whatever) and no love. Sometimes a man begins to feel “love” for an exotic dancer, but what he loves is only the image she presents and the way she pleases him. Most likely he has no idea who she really is.

The truth about exotic dancers is this. The girl is there to: maintain a habit, support her family, earn some money for a specific goal, or as a quick fix for an uneducated and unskilled woman to earn a large sum of money. This is a recession-proof business, and it’s a business, a great business. Men have needs, and when times get tough, these needs are often exacerbated. Some men will look for a way to get away and feel good, even if it’s just for a few hours.

Behind their smiles, erotic moves, and seductive words, many of these women actually feel disgust for men. They don’t like the way these men “get turned on” by complete strangers. They despise men for “cheating” on their spouses and significant others.

And her only goal is to make as much money as possible by keeping every man turned on and coming back for more.

The man who frequents strip clubs satisfies his own narcissistic needs for attention, excitement, stimulation, and praise. In reality, he is depriving himself of the opportunity for true intimacy, closeness, communication, and to unravel his deepest childhood fears and insecurities. His wife suffers from the same lack of intimacy.

The solution is for each couple to take responsibility for the demise of their intimacy, take the bull by the horns, stand their ground, get sexual counseling that both can benefit from, and literally start their sexual relationship over. again. Literally, starting at the very beginning, they should shake hands and say, “Hello. My name is… I can offer you something wonderful, make you feel better than ever before, if you take the time to get to know me….”