What is the locus of control?
Locus of control refers to your perceived source of control within your own life. It’s a concept developed by a guy named Rotter. Rotter devised a scale to measure the degree to which people feel that their lives are under their control. The scale is measured along a line from external high to internal high. External high refers to those people who see their life as being in the hands of other people, and as such can do little to control things. Tall inner people, by contrast, see themselves as the ones in control of their lives.
Generally, people will fall somewhere in between these extremes; it is not about being external or internal. Also, people can vary from situation to situation in terms of their belief that control is external or internal. It is important to note that it is about people’s beliefs and perceptions, rather than what is actually happening.
How is it relevant?
People with an internal locus of control take responsibility for their actions and see themselves as in control of their lives and destiny. As such, they can make their own decisions, rather than letting others do it for them.
Outsiders give control to others and see their successes and failures as due to outside sources. The lives they lead are not under their control. Instead, they see it as something that is due to luck, fate, or other people’s behavior.
The concept of locus of control is important as it gives an idea of your ability to make decisions. Do you trust yourself to make a decision or do you allow others to do it for you? It also allows you to reflect on your achievements. Were you lucky that time, or was it due to hard work?
Having an internal locus of control can be very empowering. You are not just waiting for life to happen to you. Go out and do it. It can affect your relationships, your work life, your lifestyle choices, where you live, etc. It’s not just about the big decisions, but also about the small everyday decisions. Taking control, and therefore responsibility, of your life can increase self-esteem and happiness.
where is your locus
The words you use in daily life can indicate where your place is. A person assuming an external locus of control may use words like she can’t, must, must, should, and should. These are all words that indicate that one person is not in control and instead their control has been given to another. In contrast, a person with an internal locus of control would tend to use terms like want, choose, and love. They would also recognize what they are saying, using ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘we’.
When you’re not in control
Having noted the importance of an internal locus of control, it must be recognized that there are things in life that you cannot control. For example, birth, death, sexuality, incarnation, and choice (even not choosing is a choice). It is important to be able to accept this data. You still have control over how you choose to respond to them. You might, for example, deny that you are going to die, refuse to accept that you are getting older, always reaching for anti-aging products. Or, you could enjoy getting older, embracing each stage of your life.
However, sometimes people believe that there are things that they cannot control, when in fact they can. For example, ‘I can’t quit my job’ may be a proud belief for some. The point is that this person may actually leave her job, he has simply chosen not to, due to the particular circumstances in which he finds himself. Therefore, it is important to think very carefully about what you think you can and cannot control. Also, even things you can’t really control, you can control how you think about them.
Using the concept in your life
The following tips are suggested to help promote control in your own life. Since you can have a big impact on managing your own happiness, I’ve also included ideas you can use to help promote happiness.
Stop putting your life on hold in case you win the lottery or get lucky in some way. You do not have direct control over the numbers. Instead, focus on the things you can control that will increase happiness.
Set realistic personal goals that can be achieved on a daily or weekly basis. These can soon add up to great achievements. Such goals may be relevant to your work, relationships, hobbies, and new activities you want to try. For example, learning to paint. You can easily get discouraged by demanding that you be an expert from day one. This is unrealistic and may prevent you from going further with your goal. However, by breaking your goal down into small, achievable chunks, you’ll see your progress sooner. This will improve control and a feeling of mastery.
Have a regular flow experience. This refers to those moments when you are completely and totally absorbed in an activity. Such experiences control you and contribute greatly to happiness.
Participate in regular exercise. Exercise benefits you physically and mentally and you will see the difference if you make it part of your life.
Get enough sleep to stay alert and in control.
Reflect on the role you assume in your relationships with others. Don’t assume that you are the victim and have no control in your interactions. Also, take time to be there for others. Giving is a great way to promote happiness.
Have a good attitude in your life. You choose how you think about your life. Give thanks for the past, enjoy the present, and be excited about the future.
Reflect on things you may have assumed you had no control over. Think carefully if this is correct. True, certain past events may have happened to you, but you have control over what you choose to do with them now.
Challenge your thinking and consider the words you use. Avoid the use of ‘can’t’, ‘always’ and ‘never’. Use terms like ‘can’, ‘choose’, ‘want to’.
Use ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘we’ in your language. It’s very empowering.
For example:
Replace ‘We should do better next time’ with ‘I should do better next time’.
Replace ‘You’re starting to wonder why you’re doing it’ with ‘I’m starting to wonder why I’m doing it’.