The 2010 US federal census showed that 15 million children are raised without a father and 5 million more children are raised without a mother. Twenty million children! To the detriment of our country and its children, we are seeing the results of so many fatherless children on the nightly news.
As previous owners of a number one rated restaurant, we have seen these results first hand; kids with no manners, kids making decisions for adults at the table, public tantrums, the list goes on.
A Fox News article showed that without the benefit of a stable father at home, the daughters of these families sadly lacked a parental influence to show them how to become decent young women. Furthermore, their research showed that fatherless girls were highly susceptible to:
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Lack of self-control.
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Outward displays of anger and belligerence.
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Looking for an emotional connection, they had to become sexually promiscuous.
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Become vulnerable to sexual exploitation by predators who seek to satisfy your emotional needs. Girls whose biological parents are missing often seek the unconditional love and words of encouragement that their parents might have given them.
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Multiple marriages.
Sigmund Freud said: “I can’t think of any childhood need as strong as a parent’s need for protection.”
Without the influence of a loving parent, an abandoned child is also more likely to:
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Get involved in school and neighborhood violence.
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Be prone to suicide.
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Drinking
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Drug addiction
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Leave our school.
Yes, there are many brave single mothers raising wonderful daughters and contributing to society, but the odds are not good.
Orphan daughters suffer terribly from low self-esteem. Without the safety of her father, she experiences far-reaching consequences for her abandonment. She begins to look for that “OK” sign from children, who may not have her best interest at heart.
“The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as a man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child orphaned and then without God.” Anais Nin.
The best we can teach our daughters is found in the Bible. It is the responsibility given by God to the father to give wisdom and guidance to his beloved girl. Proverbs 22: 6 “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will stay on it. “
Normally, a caring father would teach his daughter how to recognize a good man and ignore the men who would be her downfall. By doing this, the father strengthens family ties and prevents family dysfunction. The role of a father in the family is vital.
In describing what a good man is, 1 Timothy 3: 2-5 A good man is one whose life cannot be criticized. He must have only one wife, and he must be hard-working and thoughtful, orderly and full of good works. You must enjoy having guests in your home and you must be a good Bible teacher. You should not be a drinker or a quarrel, but you should be gentle and kind, and not be someone who loves money. (excluding everything else). He must have an educated family, with children who obey quickly and silently. “
In a fatherless home, it now becomes the mother’s appointment to hold a job, raise her daughter with good values, teach her about God, and give her good advice and direction. This is difficult at best. America needs its parents to step up and be responsible.
Family dysfunction often begins with the disappearance of a biological father. I had one, my mom had one, and her mom had one. The actions of all these parent relatives of mine have harmed the women in my family. You can see that family dysfunction has been rampant for generations. Whether through alcoholism or a father’s infidelity, these missing dads caused their daughter pain.
Let me leave you with these uplifting recipes for healing.
- Proverbs 31:30 Deceptive is charm and vain is beauty. (Which means there is more to a good life than the charm and beauty of a woman)
- Psalm 46: 5 God is in the midst of her; she won’t move; God will help her when it dawns. (whether dad is present or absent, a woman always has a loving God to turn to)
- 1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set an example to the believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, purity.
- The treasure of a mother is her daughter. Catherine Pulsifer
- Good daughters are good mothers. Abagail G. Whittlesey
- A busy mother has lazy daughters. Portuguese proverb
God loves you and will help you heal your orphan daughter.