As a parent, one of the most important and often difficult facets is discipline. Most of us have seen the result of an unruly child, such as a screaming child lying on the floor of the grocery store because his parents won’t give him the item he wants to buy. It’s also a facet we tend to avoid because we naturally love our children and we don’t want it to seem like we’re denying that love.
An interesting Bible verse is Proverbs 29:17, “Correct your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring joy to your soul.” What is interesting is that this verse points out that not only do we need to discipline our children when necessary, but the result promises to delight us. At the same time, I would add that how this discipline is done should not be neglected either.
From my experience as a child, parent, and teacher, I have found that the following principles aid in effective discipline:
1. Tell the child ahead of time what your expectations are and what the consequences are. Children will often “test” you if she hasn’t said anything about what she expects. However, saying what is important and what will result from bad behavior avoids the need for testing. For example, my father told me that something that would never be allowed would be hitting my sister. That would result in me receiving a spanking. That got my attention and it worked.
2. Have as a consequence “adjust the crime.” A spanking does not have to be the punishment for everything a child does wrong.
3. The consequence must “fit the child.” Get to know her child and find out what would be most appropriate for him or her based on her personality and interests. It is important to take into account the age of the child. You should not discipline a teenager the same way you would a young child.
Finally, consider why you are disciplining. The reason must be more about the child than about you. Basically, this should be an act of love. While it can be frustrating to see your child misbehave, more importantly she is helping him shape her character for the future. A well-disciplined child is more likely to study hard for his school lessons, not be late for work, and be more successful in his marriage. Seeing his son succeed in life, that it will be for you “the delight of your soul”.