Like many shy people, he had the most radiant smile. She not only curved her lips, but also sparkled in her hazel eyes. Even her abundant blonde curls seemed to dance, especially when she moved her shoulders in a playful little gesture when she actually tickled him about something.
I want to keep the memory of her smile alive for the rest of my life, to remind me how precious and uncertain life and friendship can be. She was found alone in the large pool of hers buried with her and there are no good answers as to how this 51 year old mother could have left us.
She was a businesswoman building her small real estate empire with rental properties. She was interested in helping low-income families find safe, affordable housing. To keep costs down, she worked on her properties herself, getting contract help only as a last resort. She scraped and painted, roofed and plumbed, cut and weeded her handful of multi-family units, as well as her own large farmhouse. She allowed back rent too easily for the comfort of her accountant, but she felt that the people she selected to be her tenants were worth the risk. She looked for singles who were working and really trying; for families in distress; for those who had faced financial blows but were still creditworthy.
Although she came from a family of great wealth and prestige, she lived far enough away and so simply that most who knew her never made the connection. She, too, did not encourage any kind of acknowledgment.
To the tragedy of his death will be added the suffering of uncertainty of these families who took shelter under his wing. She had made a handwritten will. But she lacked the two necessary witness signatures that would have made her wishes binding. Now, those with whom she wanted to share her personal collections from all over the world, memories of her compassion and her enthusiasm, will not receive them. Because he died “intestate,” without legally recognized instructions for the distribution or care of her estate, the distribution of his estate will be guided by the actions of state-appointed attorneys and processes.
I had begun to trust my friend and financial adviser, and little by little his awareness of asset protection grew. Partly because she was so shy, partly because he never “rushes” her clients, partly because good planning takes time, she didn’t have adequate protections for her small business. She never had the time, although she had clear and expressed interest.
In addition to his real estate concerns, for pleasure and relaxation he had developed a creative business. He sculpted rugs in a workshop on his property. He physically required extra hard work, spreading the heavy materials, cutting the tough fibers, bonding them into place with heat and sheer force, but his custom clients thought his efforts were worth it. Some pieces had even been used in feature films. A company in the area expressed interest in doing her work and in her representing her interests to her clients.
She belonged to a network of small businesses and was planning a summer party around their pool to celebrate their mutual successes. No one yet knows the details of her fall.
We know that we are not the same without her; without her tremendous love for life, passion for travel, jazz and world-music; without her curiosity about all the great religions of the world, especially the Eastern traditions. Without that beautiful smile of hers.
In her great sweetness, she overlooked herself and in doing so exposed those under her wings, including her beloved son.
May your abrupt loss be a life lesson to other small business owners who make excuses for a lack of financial planning. Please take the time you have; is literally the only time you get.