I don’t think anyone intentionally starts dating someone who is bad for them. Just past. Or if? Attracting and finding the right partner starts with taking the time to really get to know yourself, what is important and critical to you. Answering that is the key to discovering what you want from another person. It really starts and ends with being your own best friend. Liking and loving you. It’s the only way to allow someone else to do it. That being said, there are still those universal dating red flags to watch out for. The inappropriate behavior of another person that is not a reflection of you. Unless you let it. Recognizing these early warning signs can save you a lot of heartache and pain. Not to mention keeping her precious self-esteem intact.
1. he is a mess. Literally. First date. Her hair is dirty and her clothes look as if he slept in her. He chooses to meet at McDonald’s or something equivalent. I don’t care how charming it turns out to be. Not good. First impressions are everything. If he’s not making the effort now, it’s highly unlikely that he ever will. You have to ask yourself the million dollar question. Why bother? Let his mother fix it. It’s not your job. Live through. Do not look back. Repeat after me… I deserve better than this! Say it until you believe it.
two. Lasted. There is no excuse for bad behavior. Ever. Snippy to the waiter. Insinuate your flaws or those of others. Humiliate people, to their face or to you. Look at other women while you talk to him. Constantly interrupt. Not someone you want to associate with. I don’t care if he really is the cutest guy you’ve ever dated. Eventually, if he hasn’t already, he will turn his poison against you. It is painful and unforgivable. And it’s certainly not about you. Don’t even think that way or you’re in for a world of pain. Repeat after me. I’m better than this. I can do better. Say it until you believe it!
3. To Moocher. He’s a little short on cash. She’s been hinting at him for weeks. You have a slow sympathetic ear but you haven’t offered your help. Finally ask. He promises to pay you back. Whose. Let him borrow it from someone else. It’s hard enough to build a relationship without muddying the waters on a sensitive topic like this. It is better to date someone who is financially responsible. Repeat after me. I can do better. Say it until you believe it. Are we noticing here?
Four. don’t pay attention. You’re in the middle of telling him a great story. He barely makes eye contact. When she does it, it’s not with you, but with the ‘beautiful’ that she walks by. No no and no. It’s called courtesy. Respect. You wouldn’t dare do that to your boss, client, or friend. They would not allow it. You shouldn’t either. Take a deep breath. Repeat after me. I owe it to myself to do better.
5. does not ask for you. He is a great talker. The problem is that it’s always about him. You can’t have a relationship unless there is a give and take. There is no place for two in a one man show. Your voice needs to be heard, otherwise you will find your heart unfulfilled and your needs unfulfilled. Now is a good time for our mantra… I can do better. I want something better I will find better.
6. Sediment. Do we really need to embellish this one? Trust in any kind of relationship is paramount. You can’t trust someone who lies. You can really do better at this!
7. Asks you out at the last minute. Really? How can you think you are special if you constantly practice this behavior? He makes a big statement about what he thinks about you and your relationship. If he really likes you, he’ll want to make sure you spend quality time with him. And he could go on ad infinitum about why he should ask you out on a Saturday night and what it means if he doesn’t. Self esteem. Respect yourself. Get what you need and want. Repeat it until you have it.
8. Your friends and family don’t like it. A friend doesn’t like it. Maybe. Two friends? Possibly. But when everyone in his life, including his dog, doesn’t like it, there’s usually a good reason. Love yourself as much as your family and friends and take a good look at it. Most likely, you will suddenly see the same unsuitable features as them. Repeat our mantra and stay the course. I can and will do better for myself.
9. It does not disconnect. If you don’t know what that means, you’re not dating online. But for those of you, this is the key. A man who is serious about finding a partner will tune out after meeting someone he likes and wants to see if it works out. That doesn’t necessarily mean after the first date (although that would be nice), but rather shortly thereafter. If you’ve been dating for weeks, and especially if you’ve slept with him, he shouldn’t be online anymore. It is a sign of respect. To you and for you. Yes. Surely you can find someone better.
10 Recidivist. Is always late. She promises not to. I had one more drink. He swears that she won’t do it again. But he does. She forgets to call when she says that she will. More than once. Don’t allow this. Set limits that are important to you. People show you and tell you who they are. Be observant. He listens carefully. The most important thing: know yourself very well. Be clear about what you want in your life. Stay away from what is not.